Jerry, you need to find god
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize