I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
