i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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