I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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