Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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