I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
