Nicole vs. Life
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize