why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
