I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
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