I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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