My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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