Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
