Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
