Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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