So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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