in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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