I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
