I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
