if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
