I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
