i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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