My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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