So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
