I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
