I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize