girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
