i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
