Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
