So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
