Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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