Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
