I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
