do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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