my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
