If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
