We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
