So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
