He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
