I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
handjob tips. give me some.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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