Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
