I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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