I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
