Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
