so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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