remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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