I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
