I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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