What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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