he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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