Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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