I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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