I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
