yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
