I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
