remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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