i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
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