I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
