i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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