guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
