True but thats because hes a fetus.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
