guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You left your phone here
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