Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
