you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Terrible idea I love it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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