May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
